Do You Have a Running-Related Disorder?
It has come to my attention that there are a number of serious mental disorders that are related specifically to running. What is most concerning is that instances of these mental disorders seem to be on the rise, and in fact have to admit that I am a sufferer too.
So here from the recent Journal of Runners Mental Maladies are some of the more common mental disorders associated with runners:
Chronic Running Acquisition and Purchase Syndrome (CRAPS)
The inability to pass a running shop and not buy another piece of running kit because it looks good or is on sale. Usually associated with running t-shirts and running shoes.
Acute Technical Tee Sickness (ATTS)
Feelings of jealousy experienced when seeing a t-shirt on another runner that you want because it looks good, you like the colour or, more commonly, it’s a finisher’s t-shirt from a race you want to do.
Acute Bling Covetousness (ABC)
Similar to ATTS but it’s all about the bling/race medal.
Obsessive Rounding Up Disorder (ORUD)
Often seen on owners of Garmin and other GPS running watches. Sufferers have a complete inability not to round up their mileage to the next mile or the next minute. It is easy to spot sufferers as they are often seen running round in circles or up and down the same bit of path in order to ‘round up’.
Delusional Positive Split Affliction (DPA)
The persistent inability to comprehend that “putting time in the bank” by setting out faster than race pace is a bad idea.
Compulsive Carbohydrate Complaint (3C)
A compulsion to eat huge quantities of pasta and/or rice during the week before a race. Sufferers believe carb-loading is mandatory especially the night before and will often go to extremes in searching out the nearest Italian or pasta restaurant when racing away from home.
Obsessive Running Shoe Preservation Disorder (ORSPD)
The inability to throw away any pair of running shoes, even though the shoes might have done over 500 miles, caused blisters or led to other injuries sufferers will hang onto the shoes ‘just in case’. Just in case: they need them for a muddy run, for doing the gardening or for something else that might crop up in 10 years time.
Pre-Race Insomnia Affliction (PRIA)
A temporary affliction the night before a race. Sufferers are typically anxious about sleeping through their alarm so they spend large portions of the night waking up, checking the time and then trying/failing to get back to sleep. When they do sleep they often dream of missing the start, being at the start in the wrong kit, not having their GPS watch, or getting lost on the course.
Post-race Enthusiastic Delirium Sickness (PEDS)
A compulsion to immediately enter another race of the distance once you’ve crossed the finish line, despite swearing you were never going to do this again few miles previously. Can lead to PANTS if treatment is not managed correctly.
Post-race Adjustment to No Training Syndrome (PANTS)
The struggle to adjust to the reality of not training for something if you don’t have the next race lined up. Symptoms include: sloth, boredom, indifference, can’t-be-arsed-it is and eating cake, lots of cake.
If you suspect you, or a fellow runner, has one or more of the above complaints I urge you to see a doctor – ideally one that runs. Or you can do what most runners with complaints and injuries do and just run through it.
So which ones do you suffer from or do you suffer from something not listed here?